No More Baby Talk...

September 11, 2009

Hey, yo, peeps

If anyone still reads my blog, I have a favor to ask.
B hooked me up with the google search engine. The more hits my photography link gets, the closer I will appear on the front page.
Sounds a little narcissistic I know but it would real help the traffic and the potential business.
Here's what you do, go to www.google.com and type Little Rock Wedding Photographer or Little Rock Photographers you will find Danielle Davis Art/Photography you may have to go to the 4th or 5th page right now to find me, click on it and view a few pictures, so the engine can process your inerest.
Anyway, that should move me up in line...please no bad reviews (sarcasm ap:)))).

Posted by Danielle at 22:10 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

September 23, 2009

"Learned Behaivior" 'tis the season

[Politics]

To my acting students "learned behavior" is a repetative act/sound/body language that is learned during the script- prep process. It can hinder an actors natural instincts and trick them into thinking they have a script memorized. It is also very hard to perform improvisation in a scene with too many "learned behaviors". If you learn a script with certain inflections in your voice and tone, or body language pormpted by certain words and/or beats in the script then you become dependant on those learned behaivors to cue your memory. If for some reason those beats are skipt or interupted by something, the change can throw the entire scene off.."Man! I really did have that scene memorized..I just don't konw what happened" I hear that a lot from my acting students.
The key is to memorize your scene in a very monotone voice and manner. Speedreading, singing, reapeating your lines 10 times without any emotion are great ways to memorize a script. That way your mind is not dependant on the learned behavior to trigger words in your script. The lines will role without even thinking about them if memorized correctly. It will be easier for you to just "be" in the moment of your scene..emotional, real, reacting to your co-acotor when the script beomes a part of your subconscious mind.
Sometimes I think the past five years have been like this "learned behavior". I think my body, my mind, my heart have gotten used to this "learned behavior". This behvavior of child bearing, nursing, newbornning, sleeplessness, etc. The 18 month is a signifact trigger for me. A time frame that usually triggers the need to and want to have a baby. This mark is coming soon and for the past five years I have been repeating these behaviors to a "T". While approaching the mark, I am surprised that my boobs don't hurt, that I am sleeping regularly that I am not cranky with the girls for random reasons. I guess I just expect that they are here or around the corner. I find myself sad that the behavior has not come. I guess I just assumed that the belly would be growing soon. Assumed that I would be getting extra special attention from my hubby soon:).
But no, no pregors. No double D's. No special back massages. No baby-name dreaming. No majore anticipations. It is soooo strange to move on to a new season; to let the Improvisation take the wheel, to let new emotions, new events, new body languages ensue. It will be nice (for lack of a better word) to let the improv take place, to "be" in the moment without the known anticipations, to be responsive and reacting to my co-actor/compadre ;).
So we will see. 'tis the season.

Posted by Danielle at 16:29 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)

September 24, 2009

Dear Mom

[Politics]

In the past 30 years there have been such major moments of disconnect between us. Not really rememberring being able to relate to you or feeling close to you in my youth and then early 20's. Not understanding how you could possibly know me in such a short 18 month window to my life. That is until 5 years ago. Five years ago when they said "You are having, you are having a girl!" The connect began. The connect would last for the next 9 months and then again and so intensely for the next 18 months. And then again the connect, and then one more time the connect.
Ruby just woke unexpectadly, mostly she is a wonderful sleeper. She cried out and I went to get her. I held her in my arms and kissed her forhead, felt her sweet baby breath and listened to the suck of that sweet paci. She still wasn't sleepy so I laid with her in my bed, cuddled so close. She in only a diaper, feeling her sweet soft skin. Oh the smell is straight from heaven, the sound like no other. I couldn't help but cry out to you. It was another one of our moments together, our connect.
We have had them often in the past five years. From the time I found out I was carrying a girl until the day my baby girl passed 18 months. What a short time it is. What a precious time it is. A time that means more to me than any other time in my life.
Moments, connects, lots of them.
Tonight, oh mom, tonight you were right there with me. I mean there are obvious connects; milestones, first smiles and cooing, first baths, walking, kisses, undescribable loves that I have stopped right smack in the moment of and thought, "I know you mom..I know you right now!" I know exactly what you were thinking at that moment when you were with me. When you held me in our window, I knew momma. I knew you more deeply than ever before.
Tonight, oh tonight momma, it was different than most! I couldn't shake it. I didn't want to shake it. Ruby just wanted me to hold her close, to cuddle her, and to smell her. And you were right there, right there in her smell, in her sounds, in her feel. As I felt so close to you, I cried to you. This time, I felt it momma, our connect.
I have been gifted this 18 month window, that same window three times over. But soon Ruby will close our window. Our connect will be gone?
Did you ever even hear my voice? You didn't see my second birthday, you didn't fix my hair or hold my hand or send me to kindergarten. You didn't talk to me about boys, or see me get married. How will we connect, mom? I don't want this to end. I don't want our time to go. It will go! She will turn 18 months soon and YOU will go, she will turn 19 months and then 20 months and then she will be 5 year old and then 10 and you will be gone. We didn't have those windows, we didn't have that connect. Where will the connect be?
I know, I know, I remember what "they" say, "what you do not know will not hurt you". Well then, now I know damnit. Now I know that smell, that tender touch, that love that you had for me. Now I know what that soft cuddle in the middle of the night was between us in that small little window. Now I know and now it is coming to an end, going to be gone. I know that sweet kiss on the forehead, I can feel that when I kiss her, you/me, her, her/me/you. It is hard to articulate. It is not describable, but somehow there has been a connect. A gift I have been graced with three times over. My time is up, the disconnect will ensue. I know you won't come to me in a dream, not in a prayer, not in life. Mom, you have come to me in my baby girls and what will happen when that is gone. When the window is soon to close.

Posted by Danielle at 03:02 | Comments (11) | Trackbacks (0)